Tell Me a Tale of the Orient Gay

Hello, friends and family and anonymous strangers! How are you this fine afternoon? It's sunny and warm and delightfully not humid right now. I think the last two weeks of March are well in consideration as the best-weather time of the year for Guangzhou. Honestly, if it weren't for the lingering mold all through my apartment (it's like an alien invasion. Once they have a foothold, you're fighting a loosing battle) it would be perfect.

Now that's how you deal with mold.

But enough about the weather! Honestly, I feel as though I have a tendency to blather on about the weather or food at quite some length. This is because I have an exceedingly boring life, despite the glamor of living in a foreign country (although there are times, still, when I'll be just walking along the sidewalk and I'll suddenly remember 'Dude, I live in China' and I will be instantly more cheerful). Mostly, I go to work and I sit at home and read. Sometimes I go grocery shopping. Very occasionally I'll do something cool. But, mostly I hang out alone with my glorious glorious internet reading selection (now even bigger and more scholarly, thanks to my college granting JSTOR access to alumni!). So, as promised last week, settle in everyone for a contemplative review of The Romance of China: Excursions to China in US Culture, 1776-1876 by John Rogers Haddad. It's a fascinating look at Sino-American exchange through a period encompassing Lord Macartney's expedition to China and the Second Opium War.

I could also talk about knitting.

And... you all just clicked away to read something more interesting, didn't you? Say, the latest commentary on the Republican nomination race that just won't stop? Yes, don't lie, even that dead horse is probably more interesting to you than reading about my thoughts on the changing American perspectives on China in the 19th century. It's okay.

You look as excited as these guys (8 Nation Alliance)

It's okay because you've been granted a reprieve thanks to a last-minute invite I had earlier this week. Instead of a week of generic nothing, I actually went out and did something on Saturday night. This is doubly surprising because Saturday night is the end of a 10 hour work day, followed by another 10 hour work day, so usually I just go home and watch the Big Bang Theory and go to bed early. However, I couldn't pass up this week's opportunity. So, where did I go? You get three guesses.
1. No, guess again.
2. Still wrong, one more try.
3. Nope. Okay, I'll tell you.

I went to a PFLAG meeting/ English corner! I was super excited (As is everyone who finds this blog by googling "gay orient." Today, the double entendre gets real, people. Also, apologies to everyone who googles "gay orient bears" and gets my post about the Beijing zoo. Really not what you were looking for, was it). I was invited by my coworker and his boyfriend. We spent a lot of fun time walking up and down the street, trying to find the address. We eventually found it around back, and then we spent a lot of fun time trying to figure out how to get the correct floor (turns out, one elevator goes to the odd floors and the other to the even). But get there we did, just ever so fashionably late.

There were about fifteen attendees. My coworker and I were the only foreigners. The lady in charge, a straight ally, and I were the only women. Everyone spoke pretty decent English (well, it was an English corner). We had a lovely agenda which read amazingly like a lesson plan for one of my higher-level classes (it was a little fun to be on the 'student' side). First, we played Fruit Basket as an ice breaker. This is a musical-chairs like game where the odd-one-out calls out something like 'who's wearing blue?' and everyone who is wearing blue has to stand up and change seats, leaving one person standing again. In this case, the person standing had to introduce themselves a little and answer any further questions from the group, then call out the next color/whatever.  After that, we had a little debate/discussion/role-play activity. Here's the scenario: a gay man came out to his parents three years ago, and it didn't go over so well. But now, the parents want to repair their relationship with their son (while not having actually changed any of their views). What to do? So, we were randomly divided into sides (parents/homophobes v gay children/people with working brains) and had some time to prepare our arguments. Guys, I had to pretend to be homophobic. This was really hard. I tried to channel Maggie Gallagher, but I really couldn't keep a straight face. Also, I had the problem of not really wanting to win the argument (but how could I actually win? My argument was based on the speculation that homosexuality is caused by something in the water/mothers who work outside the home/going to a single-sex boarding school. My argument was RIDICULOUS. Ridiculous because there are people who actually believe it, that is). Basically, our side boiled down to 'So, son, you're gay, okay. But if you were a good son, you'd marry a nice girl and have a child, because that's what good sons do and who's going to take care of you when you're old, I just want you to be happy (according to my narrowly defined path to happiness). You can always see that boyfriend of yours quietly, on the side, out of the public eye.'

Gays in Chinese history? SHHH. No such thing.

I'd just like to take a moment to thank my own parents for not being crazy people. Chatting with people at the PFLAG meeting, quite a few asked if I was out at home and how my parents took it. And I got to say yes, I'm out at home, and my parents were pretty cool about it. Actually, I was much more freaked out than they seemed to be. Everyone I told this to last Saturday seemed a little envious. Quite a few of the attendees are not out to family. There are no pictures of people in this post for a reason. As a matter of fact, no one I've ever come out to has taken it badly (well, there is one person who's reaction I will hold near and dear to my heart for the rest of time. Because, really, you can't quite beat the awkward enthusiasm of 'OMG YOU'RE MY FIRST GAY FRIEND'). So, way to be awesome, everyone.

We wrapped up the PFLAG meeting with a game of Taboo-Charades (it's Taboo, but you can act things out). I play this in class all the time, but Saturday night's vocabulary will not be seeing the inside of a classroom anytime soon. Seriously, that most embarrassing miming experience of my life.
 I can't even type the word here (whatever you're thinking, you're probably not too far off).

This is how I felt.

All in all, I was happy to have the opportunity to interact with the gay community in Guangzhou, even if it was only a few for only a short time. It's a completely different world here with completely different cultural beliefs, history, and expectations. I'd elaborate, but you'd probably find that just as boring as a discussion of Chinese-American interactions in the early republic. If you'd like to read more, read this, this, or this.